Welcome back, you brave souls, to the final act of our trilogy where we reveal why being shackled to the likes of Wix and Squarespace is about as much fun as a dentist appointment.
1. The Flexibility Farce
You want your site to do backflips and cartwheels, but these platforms offer the flexibility of a concrete statue. You ask for a somersault, they give you a stiff nod. Flexibility? More like “select from the following options and pray.”
2. Analytics Anarchy
Understanding your audience is key, but the analytics on these platforms are about as clear as mud after a mudslide. You’re trying to hit a bullseye with a blindfold on, and they’re handing you a water pistol.
3. Integration Irritation
You want to plug in some snazzy new tools, but integration on these platforms is like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. Maybe if you hammer it hard enough… but, let’s face it, you’re more likely to just smash the peg.
4. Exit Exasperation
Decide you’ve had enough and want to move your site? Ha! Transferring your domain away is like breaking up with a clingy partner. They make it so hard, you might just decide to stick around out of sheer exhaustion.
5. Innovation Illusion
These platforms sell you ‘innovation’, but their updates come at the pace of a glacier in no hurry. By the time they introduce ‘new’ features, they’re already old hat everywhere else.
So, as we part ways, remember: true digital demi-gods don’t rely on templated trickery. They build their online empires with creativity, flexibility, and a dash of technical magic. Go forth and conquer the web, my friends, with the might of authentic, bespoke web design.